I’ve started to think that what we need to make traveling more relaxing is not less airport security, but more.

Didn’t pack your liquids in bags from home or brought stupid large containers? Shot in the head.

Didn’t prepare your laptop/tablet and liquids to be removed from your bag and placed on the tray? Shot in the head.

Getting surprised in the duty free that you have to show your boarding pass? Shot in the head.

Brought a huge piece of cabin luggage you can’t lift and much less store in the overhead compartment (which – surprise – is overfull)? Shot in the head.

Feeling the “switch off your appliances” don’t apply to your phone and shitty music? Shot in the head.

Reclining your chair on a short or daytime flight to infinitesimally increase your comfort at great discomfort to the person behind you? Shot in the head.

Brought misbehaving kids and didn’t check them in as luggage? Shot in the head in front of the kids. Kids then disposed off and served on next flight as “kosher longpork.”

Also, somebody should do something about the brownie I just had. It could do with a LOT more chocolate.