Can’t decide whether to be happy or annoyed that getting felt up at security took all of five minutes. On the one hand, standing in line is about as fun as watching Seinfield, but on the other hand I got up at 4 because I was warned against delays. Thank Britney for free airport breakfast […]

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Y’all can thank me later. I think I just solved the biggest problem in the universe. I’m not talking about global warming, terror, hollowing of cheese, or over vs under, but the rather more important issue of people using “literally” when they mean “figuratively.” We should just instead use the word illiterally to mean “figuratively,” […]

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