The difference between present-time archeologists and future archeologists is that present-time archeologists have to dig thru piles of shit in past compost heaps to find out what people ate, while future archeologists will have to dig thru piles of selfies of us and our food to find jack shit. JK, they’ll just use Google and […]

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I found the latest invention in evil machinery at Gatwick. It’s a combined robbery, frustration and regret machine. First, it robs you of £3 for a small cup of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream because fuck you – you’re in an airport and just want to get rid of all your cartoon money anyway. Second, […]

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The VK: a wondrous place where I’m neither necessarily the shortest nor widest person. The nice young lady at the food court at O2 seemed so genuinely confused by my order of a veggie burger, a small (i.e., just a pint) DIET coke, I gave up trying to even start negotiating the concept of selling […]

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