Call the Guinness book of records*) and have them bring me a beer! Also, notify them that I have found the world’s slowest washing machine! It’s been at it for 90 minutes and still hasn’t finished my laundry. And no, it’s not that dirty. Even more no: that’s not a Xtina reference.

*) Little known fact: the Guinness book of records was actually started by a director of the Guinness brewery to essentially settle arguments about what was longest/fastest/lightest/… at pubs after a couple pints.