Last night when I went to bed, I felt a cold coming. This morning when I woke up, I couldn’t see. Then I opened my eyes and realized I didn’t feel the cold anymore. Not only did I cure the blind and heal the sick, I can also walk on water (well, snow but its the same – both are made out of atoms), plus I am very modest. The ways I’m like Jesus continue to astound me. Except I don’t have a goofy hipster do and beard – I’m better than Jesus!

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