I may no be the biggest theological genius (hogwash – of course I am), but I deduced the following theological fact: one of the biggest signs god hates you is that you are religious.

Non-religious people are far less likely to believe in god, and how could a non-existent entity hate you?

Therefore, become an atheist and make god not hate you! That’s almost as making god love you, so become an atheist if you love god and want them to reciprocate.