It’s now been a week since my last cigarette. This means I am well on my way to break my new year’s resolution to smoke and drink more.

Luckily, I aced semantics back in university, and realize the loop-hole that my resolution is syntactically ambiguous; hence let it be known that my new year’s resolution for 2014 is to “(smoke) and (drink more).” I’m already done with part 1, so I’m well on my way with almost ⅔ of the year left to go.