When it comes to the debate between evolution and a designer, I’ve been pretty much on the side of the monkeys.

That is, I used to be until I today had an experience swaying me towards the idea of a designer. What convinced me was opposable thumbs.

There’s no way natural selection could have given something so dumb and impractical. Today, I cut the same fricking finger for the third time in as many weeks.

Therefore, the only reasonable conclusion is that God exists and is a complete and utter moron. We were designed by some dumbass with no clue where things should reasonably go. “Here have some fingers whose main purpose is being in the way when you’re cutting bread” and “let’s slab some boobs on the gender likely to appreciate them the least.”

The only logical explanation to why we are here and look like we do is not that we evolved from rocks and trees and monkeys like scientists want you to believe. Instead, we magically popped in the garden of Eden roughly 6000 ago as the unfortunate victims of unintelligent design, created by a God escaped from the great insane asylum in the sky.

God did not die or decide to leave us alone – he was merely caught by the crazy-watchers after his temporary Shawshank Redemption, and is now chilling in his padded cell together with Henry VIII, pre-treatment John Nash, and everybody who ever believed in a mail from a Nigerian prince.

#UnintelligentDesign #EvolutionIsALie #GodIs(AlexanderThe)Great #TeachTheControversy