Why do vacation auto-responders contain “thank you for your mail?” Nobody is happy to receive mail. Here’s a new template you can copy and paste instead of that:

Dear Sender, I’m off and I’m not going to read your mail. When I get back, I plan to spend all morning looking at vacation photos during my mail catch-up time, and just archive all mails unread. In the afternoon when Facebook no longer amuses me, I plan to leave early. I would let you know when I’m back, but I’m sure you’re going to abuse that information by sending me more mail then.