Y’all can thank me later. I think I just solved the biggest problem in the universe.

I’m not talking about global warming, terror, hollowing of cheese, or over vs under, but the rather more important issue of people using “literally” when they mean “figuratively.”

We should just instead use the word illiterally to mean “figuratively,” which comes with the added benefit of accurately describing the manner in which the statement was made.

I made an AI which automatically detects when a use of “literally” should instead be “illiterally,” and replacing accordingly. The script runs in vim or literally any other editor that is also vim:

:%s/literally/illiterally/g