Listening to the 20th anniversary picture vinyl of Baby One More Time the entire weekend while studying has given me an appreciation and understanding of why hipsters prefer the format: it’s because they are blabbering morons who should be shot on sight.

Having to get up every 25 minutes to flip the record like some peasant DJ is literally worse than the news of Frozen 2’s imminent release (which I actually look forward to), and while I enjoy Sometimes, it was never my favorite and I don’t really appreciate the 15 minute remix my turntable has conjured by skipping in the middle until the turtle this gay flat Earth balances on moves around enough to make it continue, or I have to get up an extra time during side A of the record.

Vinyls: pretty but dumb. Just like Trump isn’t and is. BRB have to flip the record again.