I’ve been watching most of the ESC songs during my morning exercise to prepare for tonight’s gayety, and so far I’ve gotta say: we’re here for the freakshow, not for sad ballads and song machine rejects.

Props to Iceland for trying but sad about the shit song, nice of Australia to remind us of happier times by parodying Romania’s own Cezar, but the rest was just dull. What’s with the furry/GoT shite, Norway? Bring the violin guy at least. Belarus is kind of nice but forgettable.

Bring us flamboyant Balkan war or bring us nothing!