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3.5 years ago, my right ear started hurting and today, after one week of soaking it in salad dressing 3 times a day, the nice doctor lady managed to spray out a huge disgusting lump of earwax, and now I can hear all kinds of sounds I couldn’t before.nnI celebrated this by immediately blocking out all of those new-found second-rate real-world noises with Britney.

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