A̶p̶p̶a̶r̶e̶n̶t̶l̶y̶,̶ ̶l̶e̶a̶v̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶p̶h̶o̶n̶e̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶d̶e̶a̶d̶ ̶1̶0̶ ̶h̶o̶u̶r̶s̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶t̶o̶i̶l̶e̶t̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̶a̶ ̶s̶e̶l̶f̶-̶f̶u̶l̶f̶i̶l̶l̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶p̶r̶o̶p̶h̶e̶c̶y̶.̶ ̶ ̶E̶h̶m̶,̶ ̶I̶ ̶m̶e̶a̶n̶.̶.̶.̶

Amazing hipster sale! Always wanted to own an iPhone but feel getting a real one is too commercial? Act now to get a fully non-functional iPhone! Place it next to your bad poetry at Starbucks or pretend you are talking to anybody at all while on your fixie; nobody will know it doesn’t work! Comes complete with authentic iPhone packing you can strategically place where your hipster-friends will find it. Hipster friends are exactly like real friends, just not your friends or real.

New price €800; now only €2000! Act within 2 hours and receive an ugly pair of statement glasses with your purchase!