Beige. There’s a non-color if there ever was one. It can pretend to be a real color by masquerading as “creme” or “custard,” but we all know it’s really just a pale brown.

Nobody has heard of Kieslowski’s Beige. He kept to real colors: blue, white, and red. Mix red and white and you get pink. Mix blue and white and you get baby blue. Mix blue and red to get purple. Real colors. Not beige.

Quiz: guess what (non-)color windows I’ve been painting white all day. Bonus question: which three mixed colors will I be using for my walls?